Thursday, August 4, 2011

if my memory lost..

if my memory lost, the people that i want to remember are :
-
my dad muhamad puzi hamid
-
my mum enor yusop
-
my sister nurmala and her husband zuwairi
- my brother muhamad rasul and his wife ernie diana
-
my nephew muhamad indera wazien
and
-
my lover mohamad shahmir zainon and his family



Wednesday, August 3, 2011

sadness

couple of weeks is going bad..leave my girls hurts me..but i have to decide the best..it's not "suka2"..it's the best for me and for sure the best for them..yarr..it's sad when you know that actually you are not needed for some people..the best word to describe 'useless'..with or without is still same..i lost 5 people cause of myself..i don't know why i can drastically act like that..what i noe i have to be free..i don't want to 'mkn hati' again and again..no one come and ask me nicely..yarr..i did it..i make them hate me so much..dat's very "sengaja"..i can do well to make people hate me..people with different attitudes..can they stand forever after together? what the really means by true friendship? use other people for our own good? it's not rite..friendship is pure..that's what i think of..i'm just like a trouble for everyone..don't you know that i miss them badly..i'm jelousing when look at them..it was 6 people..but 6 people is always have trouble to be in one car,one study group,housemate, or whatever...i never say to be an opportunity cost because i know i will be the one who will walk out the group..well..i'm not the one who should be the opportunity cost maybe..huhu i'm looked damn evil from their eyes but deep in me who knows rite? every nite i'm waiting for someone to persue me.no! it's not about "pujuk" but at least give me a relief..i don't know who can be trusted..i just can leave all this to Allah..Allah knows every single thing..i had a great time with them..really really a great time..and i miss the moment of laugh so damn much even i know i can't feel it anymore..it's should be nice if we actually know each other better.. i can't reverse back to the past..i have to move on..i felt abandoned but i have go through it safely..maybe this is the best..at least they will be in one car,in one desk,in one study group,in one laugh,in one mission,in one story..i will move on for them to be happy..
4 alphabets 2 numbers make me in sadness..
please give me a sincere smile with a sincere heart..bila kita betul betul ikhlasa baru nampak ikhlas kan? :)
if there's ufo landed near the field,if the alien ask one of us..who will be the one? now it's me..i'm in the alien's world dude.. :)
one thing i want to tell the most.. i love you <3